Undateable Girl By Day, Karaoke Star by Night
Sometimes it’s better said in a song
Originally published in an episode of Writing Class Radio
“All by myself”
I sang the strains of the Celine Dion favorite with over-the-top conviction. The spotlight hit me perfectly as I wailed out the final notes in triumph. The audience broke into applause.
“Amber! Amber!”
A crowd of upwards of 30 people chanted my name as I descended the stairs of the tiny karaoke stage in a dive bar in Chinatown. My friends gave me high fives and an array of strangers kept the compliments coming. Guys, girls, everyone wanted to talk to me. Sure, it was only karaoke, but that night — I was a star.
This kind of attention wasn’t normal. In my early 20s, I was a chubby, bespectacled girl with an equal passion for musical theater and hand-me-down clothes. My style at the time consisted of two questions: “Will it hide my stomach?” and “Is it under $5?” Couple my lack of body confidence with a splash of social anxiety and you had yourself one undateable girl.
It’s not like guys were mean to me or insulted me to my face. Well, one did call me an awkward ugly loser in an email, but that’s what you get for dating online in the early 2000s. Overall, I wasn’t met by males with hate, just complete…
